No Surprise by Andrea Foster
I’m going to disappoint you, but then you knew that already. I won’t take any of your mess. I won’t believe it. I am going to believe in you and believe in your dream until the cows come home, and they aren’t coming home—not to my house, they’re not. I am going to urge you on and remind you of your spark, and I am going to love you even when you can’t, don’t, and won’t love yourself. I can love you for far longer than you can hate yourself, say negative words, try to destroy yourself, and be the worst kind of jerk.
Why? Because I see it: the spark. I see the glow. I see the secret gem that is hidden in your heart, the hope that is in your soul, the desire to be better, do better, and succeed. I see it firing up every so often, burning like a coal, flaming up in your best moments. It may die down in your worst moments, but it’s never extinguished. I know you have great things to do; you just don’t know it yet. You’re too busy being ornery and fighting yourself and the world. But all your anger and defiance shows me the spark is there. All your sorrow tells me that someone tried to douse that spark, and ever since, you have been imitating whoever that cruel, hurtful person was. But they were wrong, and I’m right.
That’s why I’m going to disappoint you. I am going to be more ornery, more steadfast, more eternal in my piercing vision of you, more faithful than a dog of my belief in you, more sure and full of knowingness than a mother of your beauty and ability. But then, you knew that already.